Is the wording OK?

by Carol
(Montebello)

Mr. Alan Weasel,

President

Vulcan Materials, Western Division

We would like to thank you for this opportunity and your time in reviewing this Business Proposal.

E.M. Oil Transport was first established in 1985 by Enrique R. Martinez, his goal was to provide customer satisfaction and maintaining excellent relationships with key suppliers which provide the highest quality materials.

In subcontracting your transportation department to EM Oil Transport, it will help your business trim cost during this economic down turn and receive better customer service for your plants and Vulcan’s customers’ materials. E.M. Oil Transport will supply trucking, raw material and schedule material deliveries to all of your asphalt, rock, and RMC plants in California and Arizona. We currently have a hauling contract with Vulcan Materials. (Note: I am not sure what you are trying to say here. If you are trying to say EMOT is already transporting some of Valcan's products, then I would word this in another paragraph as below:)

As you know, we currently do transport some of your raw materials for your plant in Arizona. I believe your Operations Manager for the Arizona plant, Mr. Bean, is very happy with our service since we started working with him 2 years ago. So you can be sure of our high quality of service.

With these high standards in mind, we would like to extend our services to Vulcan Materials.

Description of services provided by; E.M. Oil Transport from corporate office

1.   VMC’s plant foreman from all of their Asphalt, Ready Mix, and Rock plants can call and or email their order for their daily orders for raw materials and transportation. EM Oil Transport will schedule and deliver all products to their plants.

2.   All information between E.M. Oil Transport Inc. and Vulcan Materials remain under strict confidentiality.

3.   Dispatch- 24 hrs, 7days /wk on-call.

In addition E.M. Oil Transport has access to the following resources: (note: added bullet points)

•   80 liquid asphalt tankers in our consortium for Southern California, 70 tankers in Central and Northern California and 30 in Arizona.

•   600 aggregate and asphalt trucks to service Southern California and Bakersfield this number encompasses Bottom Dumps, Strong Arms and Transfers for inter-plant and asphalt, Rock deliveries to your customers.

•   Bulk Diesel Oil based products SS1H, GuardTop (5gal. buckets) and bags of cold mix.


We have very good working relationships with various refineries in the asphalt industry and will work with your purchasing departments to secure the best possible liquid asphalt pricing.

We will work with the plants to get their daily liquid asphalt reports and will input all   of the information into People soft purchasing system for both the Refinery P.O. side of People Soft and for the Asphalt Transport P.O. side. Weekly liquid asphalt reports will be sent to your purchasing dept.

In today’s tough economic conditions, the business climate is very challenging to most firms. However, with the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (ARRA) of 2009, the federal government has provided an increase in transportation contracting opportunities. This is where Vulcan Materials and EM Oil Transport can work together to capture some of the opportunities provided by ARRA. EM Oil Transport Inc. is a UDBE supplier and hauler of liquid asphalt. This will allow VMC’s sales department to help their customers meet governmental requirements.

Vulcan Materials will provide the following:

1.   (800) telephone number to be utilized by the plant foreman and dispatch.
2.   Vulcan computer with all the programs required for Dispatch and Data Entry.
3.   Nextel wireless phone with all programmed foreman contact information.

This service will allow Vulcan Materials to pay one vendor for all of your transportation needs.

Upon agreement of accepted of proposal through signed contract between Vulcan Materials and E.M. Oil Transport Inc, the following will be good for the year 2010. Prior to expiration of contract, both parties will meet to discuss the renewal of a new extended contract for 4 years.

Annual Contract fees will be applied for services provided monthly on an annual contractual basis as follows:

With this structured plan we can achieve the main goals and accomplish a strong and successful financial future. We hope to establish a professional business relationship for many years to come.

Sincerely,

Luz A. Martinez

(President)

Hi Carol,

For most part, the wording is good. There are some minor editing done (highlighted in light blue) and my comments and additions are highlighted in yellow.

Regards
Dax Cheng